I hate women.

A friend didn't leave that nice of a comment in my last Xanga entry.

Apparently, since the modem's been installed, I haven't called her as much. And I guess the fact that she called yesterday wanting me and one of her friends to go do something and hang out when I wasn't there wasn't pleasing to her either.

I was either playing Dungeons & Dragons or at Kevin's house. Probably Kevin's. But that isn't the point.

I just read the comment now. I call her. She hangs up on me, laughing about it.

I call again. I ask her why she hung up. I didn't call "for the right reasons". She hangs up.

I've tried calling her multiple times. And just now, a guy answered her phone. I ask for Ashley, he says she's not here, I tell him I know she's there. He tells me to not call again. I hear her laughing in the background.

She's reading this right now, I know she is. So, tell me, friend, how the hell am I supposed to take this aside from being incredibly hurt by it? I mean, honestly, I call you about this, wanting to see what's wrong and how I can fix it, and you're laughing about it with a friend? Fuck, I don't know, maybe there were more people there than him, and they were all getting a good laugh at my attempts to talk to you.

I legitimately call you to see what's wrong, to talk about it, you say it wasn't the "right reasons". Don't even give me a chance to pratically talk to you before hanging up.

What the fuck am I supposed to do here? I extended the olive branch, apparently she doesn't want to even look at it, for some reason.

You know what, fuck it, I'm calling again.

No answer.

I don't know what happened here, or what the fuck I'm supposed to do about it. She's right by her cell, I know she is, she's not answering. And I don't think it's right for me to feel down about it when she won't talk to me about it. She's one of my best female friends, and for some reason, she's not happy with me.

I don't understand. And maybe I do, and maybe the conclusion I got from understanding it was too silly to even comprehend. Not calling? Maybe the fact that my parents have been fucking screaming at each other and been at each other's throats for a few days while I've been hit with a not fun bout of loneliness... maybe that's the reason I'm not in the mood for calling.

Until she decides to open up conversation with me, to talk to me and tell me what the fuck is wrong here, I'm not going to let it bother me. I mean, really now, I'm not gonna' mope around for the rest of the night when I'm not even sure what the fuck I did wrong.

...

I say that, realizing how hard it is to not let it bother me. Just the mental image of a group of people she's with laughing at my expense isn't something that really sits well with me. Not at all. I don't know if it was just a laughable thing to her or not, but it wasn't to me.

...

Fuck, I'm getting out of the house tonight. A walk, movies, someone fucking call me or hunt me down on AIM. I think I might need to vent to a friend...

Who won't hang up on me.